As is always the case with great works. Just as you have got over the emergence of a new “genius” , everything goes completely wrong and the genius turns overnight into the village idiot.

I was mesmerised when Sin City came out. What a film! What a fantastic new way of looking at cinema. At last something new amidst the Hollywood gloss and shame. But then what happens he goes and shoots himself in the head with the release of 300 and then tops it all off with the chronically bad “The Spirit”. What makes it all the worse is that we have 3 degrees of falling into the mire, there is Sin City ( Great film) then there is 300 ( a so nearly great film ) then The Spirit ( total mound of crud ).

It really is frustrating to see a genre ruined within the space of 3 films. I feel especially duped by 300 of which I came out of the Imax glowing with appreciation only for it to slowly evaporate over the next few days like a bad hangover. In some ways it was relief to wade through The Spirit as it confirmed how bad 300 was. Okay Okay I know what you are saying “ but 300 was a great film “ to which I would reply “ ….but I am NOT GAY !“.

‘I am not gay..I just enjoy drawing graphic pictures of partially dressed Spartans.’

The next logical step has to be to boycott Miller. Set up a Facebook account asking for Anti-Miller friends. Run riot in the next Imax showing of Millers next film….” Last of the bulging bicep Mohican’s”

On second thoughts a cold flannel and a light beer will do the trick.

I am not (or was not) a fan of Star Trek until I watched the new Star Trek. I was surprised at how good it is.

Basically its about this pissed off Romulan from the future called Nero (nothing to do with the software) possibly named after Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus who is some Roman guy who doesn’t sound very nice:

‘During the Olympics, people competing against Nero would intentionally lose because if they beat him, he would have them killed.

During his public theatrical performances, Nero would bar the doors to prevent people leaving the theatre before his finale. People were said to have pretended to die to get out of his shows, and one woman gave birth during one of his recitals.’

The Star Trek Nero is involuntarily blasted through a black hole of which also ate his planet and his whole civilization which Spock promised to save but failed miserably. Spock also gets sucked into the black hole which sends both of them back in time.

Nero decides the only way to reek revenge was to fly about drilling massive holes into planets and dropping Red Matter into it (basically dividing by zero). Instead of killing Spock he makes the future Spock, who he dropped onto some desolate planet near his home planet, and the present Spock who is floating about in space on the USS Enterprise(?) watch their home planet turn inside out into nothing.

‘Ok who divided by zero?’

Hilarity obviously ensues after this planet is destroyed, we all find out that Vulcans can feel emotion. Spock is provoked by Kirk and Spock beats the crap out of him. Spocks Father then says, ‘Spock…’

Which reminded me of a meme I recently found called ‘Son…I am disapoint’, which would have fit so well in Star Trek, let me show you:

Simon Pegg is also in this film. He plays Scotty, and near the end of the film shouts ‘I’m giving it all she’s got Captain’ in a Scottish accent. Simon Pegg, being the funny guy he is, always seems to look out of place. It looks like he is just some random guy who accidentally walked onto the set of Star Trek.

‘Where is the pool?’

All in all Star Trek is a good film. What made me laugh was how to distinguish different races from humans. There were other aliens in the film with weird heads but they didn’t play a major acting role, all the aliens that did only had minor differences from humans, like slightly different shaped eyes or eyebrows.

Human                                                                     Alien

As the Pope lit the eternal flame of remembrance at Yad Vashem in memory of the 6 million Jews murdered a “Breaking News” headline appears across the Sky News screen…Jordan and Pete are to seperate!

“Nooooooooooooooo”

The suspicion is that it is all a publicity stunt. For god’s sake give us a break from this banality. There was Popey trying to sort out the centuries old Middle East problems in a couple of days of very slow talking with zee German accent when up pops Pete and that mad bitch. So the next day Pete is in Crete and Jordan is off to her own Indian island where she is photographed casually serving the kids breakfast in her swim suit for the Sunday papers. I have had enough of this fake crap.

The whole world seems to be getting more and more airbrushed out…so now you cant see anything that is real!

” A whole new world full of plastic crap”

My God what was that! I managed to watch the half time interval for this Euro trash spectacle. Talk about taking a bath. It reminded me of some sort of Roman bacchanalia. One of the surest signs that our civilisation is crumbling into decadence is that we celebrate this sort of banality.

Ok this year we took it seriously. So seriously we decided to enrol our ugliest and most offensive looking composer into the show. I am still trying to understand what Sarah Brightman saw in him other than a blank cheque and then he turns up as the Mozart of Moscow last night.

“good grief”

Norway’s baby faced fiddler won it! That just about sums it up. This is the Jackie of popular culture all over again. Bring back the Bay City Rollers we would have a better chance. Isn’t it better to get Null points than to come in an embarrassing 5^th position?

The Baby faced fiddler – look at his piecing eyes!

Alexander Rybak is living his fairy tale…….whilst we have to live with the nightmare! I heard that Dita von Teese had to go to accident and emergency to get the corset surgically removed. We needed more Teese and less schlock .

“ooooo look at my milk bottle tops”

 Only problem was what the hell was that guy wearing – baco foil?

I recently started to play a game called Velvet Assassin..well I can only really say ‘started’ because that’s as far as I got. Started of well, I used to enjoy games allot but now I try to play one I just cant stop thinking ‘this is stupid and would never happen in real life’. Basically you play a female soldier, who sounds American, who is probably an Assassin. Reminded my so much of Metal Gear Solid, the first mission you even have to find your bag because it got caught in a tree….just like MGS. I got as far as stabbing a drunk German guy in the shoulder…to me that isn’t a deadly blow.

Blind?

I cant seem to get into games as much as I used to, I just don’t play them anymore. The last game I played allot was World of Warcraft, perhaps there is nothing after quitting WoW ? After quitting WoW I played games like Call of Duty…and well that’s it, but that was pretty fun, I guess because it has a feasible storyline unlike some games out there. Nowadays I am too busy writing blogs, messing around with Photoshop, and doing other non-game related activities. Is this Game Over for my gaming life? I used to consider myself a gamer.. I even used to think I will never give up gaming, I used to think the guys from Pure Pwnage were actual Gods (until they announced their real names aren’t FPS Doug etc). I used to tell people that I will be a Gamer for life..and that Gaming isn’t for kids, but have I grown out of it ?

He still owns

Pure Pwnage show actually owns, even though I don’t follow gaming as much as I used to. I even bought their T-Shirts…