Joshynet

I have been inspired yet again! After mindlessly browsing YouTube, I found something of meaning in amongst the countless videos of pointlessness. His name is Patrick Boivin and he is a very talented film maker and animator. So watching his ‘making of’ clips showed me a few of the techniques and made me realise I am missing a few important ingredients for animation.

One of which is a camera mount / track / Toy car.

I needed something the camera can attach to, and that something had to have wheels of some sort. Ended up using a Playmobil car I found in the loft, and a scrap bit of metal (probably from ikea). Couple of screws, some super glue, and ta da, here’s what I made:

Close up of the screw that the camera attatches to

Cool eh, and what else do I need but a Green Screen:

Ok…the green screen did not quite work out the way I had envisioned it, but the camera mount works a treat.

I think I might have to use a green T Shirt, or something fabric to make the colour true…for my printer is shit.

Now maybe I can get down to some serious animation!

I saw this, and my Car Crash Syndrome kicked in, and I just happened to have my trusty camera with me.

Fate

Car Crash Syndrome is basically morbid curiosity, when people slow down to see car crashes, sub-consciously they want to see something gruesome. Only the real sicko’s would admit to wanting to see some gore, but it is Humans nature to be curious of this morbid sense of entertainment. Throughout Human history there has been many times when Human suffering has been used as entertainment, most notably the Gladiators of Rome.

Why people find this fascinating I cannot answer, I can only simply guess. Perhaps it is some prehistoric instincts that are still hard wired into our brains even though we do not have use for it anymore. Without curiosity Humans would not have evolved, they would not have thought what would happen if you attach a flint onto a stick with a bit of string. And with curiosity, comes morbid curiosity.

Now this then made me think how insignificant Life is, the majority of people will only do what millions have done before them, they have no ambition or creativity. Why not create something new. People seem to only want to do what everyone else is doing, goto Uni, have relationships, and of course, breed. Now all this is good, but why not ALSO be creative? instead of getting into a 9 – 5 insignificant job, create something that changes how people think or view life.

Then comes Death, something we all have in common. I have heard the saying ‘we all die alone’ which I think is very true. Even if someone is with you when you die, you are going to pass on by yourself. Yes this sounds very depressing, which is why my outlook in life is to instead of doing what millions have done before me, I am going to, or at least try my best, to create.

Carpe diem

Well this post is a bit late, I got back from the South of France on Saturday the 8th of August. I haven’t got round to posting to my imaginary readers as of late because I recently found out I have been accepted at University in Liverpool, although not the course I originally applied for, they bumped me down to a foundation course and said something about ‘getting the required grades’ or some bullcrap. But I am happy, I will now be at Uni for 5 years instead of 4, that’s one more year of debt to pay off. I think I shall take advice from the Peep Show and ‘just change my address once and they will never find me again’. Although I am scared of those vultures in the adverts, are they there just to remind us that we have to go back to the shit real world after Uni ?….I think so.

What do you wanna do?

Anyway!

It was hot! Basically 30-35 degrees celsius every day, except the one day we had torrential rain and a thunderstorm which I called a Monsoon. And during this monsoon I was halfway through watching The Hangover (which was surprisingly good,  review coming soon) in a caravan with two Dutch people. And these two dutch people were fine watching The Hangover with the rain battering down on the caravan and thunder thundering every 2 minutes, all because they had Dutch subtitles… I had nothing, so we joint decided to run to the Bar for cover. Although…this plan did go unscathed, my holiday may have ended early, because to get to the bar, you have to go across a field the size of two football pitches…and in a thunder storm, that isn’t the best idea. Once we got to the bar, I realised I was missing a brother, so the worry started setting in. He likes to hang with all the cool kids, the kids that think its un-cool to be with their parents. Someone told me that he was under the bridge?? In this weather the river must have been above the bridge. But my worry subsided when I found him in the payphone area which is underneath the bar…with guess who…all the cool kids, smoking, hiding from their parents….lame.

Everyone who smokes was like this as a kid

So apart from my brother annoying me because he is the complete opposite to me, I had a great time on holiday. I went on a bike ride….up a bloody mountain, and what annoyed me even more was, all the people on the bike ride kept calling the mountain a hill…. I would hate to see what they call a mountain. On this bike ride I was kindly reminded how unfit I am by use of lactic acid in my muscles and the occasional Tour de France stray that would zoom past me…uphill.. After this bike ride I decided to get fit, which should be easy seeing as I am going to Uni, the one place where I wont be able to afford to snack.

A big part of my holiday was spent improving my photography skills. I took 450 photos over three weeks, and some of them are really quite nice.  Although one opportunity slipped past me, an old French lady was leaning out of a town house window about three stories up. With a really wrinkled face, she would have made an iconic photograph, but I wasn’t brave enough to take photos of people without their permission.

I am not going to show the photographs here, because I have been busy making a cool little website to showcase my creations…Click Photography, for those of you who have three brain cells.

We stayed at a place called Mas De La Cam in the Cévennes region of southern France. If you look hard enough on the campsites website you can find photos of me and my family. Although the campsite is 99% Dutch anyway, and that I learnt more Dutch than French which is ironic seeing as I went on holiday to France. The Dutch are nice people, although a bit samey, they all wear the same clothes, and listen to the same music. I could see no alternative people there who liked metal and hard rock. Anyone with long hair (like me) was called an emo. For example one girl asked me, ‘are you an amo?’, no that is not a typo, she actually said amo, instead of emo, either way she was wrong. What made me laugh is i bought a pair of aviators glasses before the holiday, and within a week all the Dutch kids was wearing them too! I am not saying they copied me, I am just saying they copied each other.

Be cool, wear aviators

Ok ok, I haven’t updated my blog for a while, so you will be pleased to hear I am going on holiday for three weeks! So the streak of no new content will continue a little while. In the mean time, check these photos out:

Walking about in Rainham I came across probably my favorite piece of graffiti Ive seen.

And the next day, excitement arose! An emergency helicopter landed close to my house. Photo taken from an upstairs bedroom. As the pilots got out, wearing grey jumpsuits, it was almost like aliens landing.

ALSO I recently got a new phone, the LG Cookie, It is cool because it is named after a biscuit, I keep telling everyone. The camera is pretty decent, 3.0mp, I took the two photos above with it, and this one below:

The camera seems to struggle with close up shots, this shot is the closest I can get without it becoming blurred.

After my adventure in the South of France, I will be sure to document it in detail when I get back. I am taking three 2gb memory cards for my camera. No not my phone camera, a slightly better digital camera (7.1mp).

BRB

AKA ‘Another day Keanu Reeves fools the entire population of the planet that he is actually any good.’ I used to like Keanu Reeves until I realised I was being hypnotized by all the pretty shiny colours made by the special effects team. Keanu Reeves has just about the same acting talent as a ton of solid Oak, he always plays the ‘not saying very much but means alot’ character, apart from his awesome performance in Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure.

Pictured right: Before Morpheus gave him a haircut

I liked him in The Matrix, the first one that is, two and three were piles of giraffe dung. But when I realised how bad he actually is I stopped liking him all together.

ANYWAY onto The Day the Earth Stood Still, apart from Keanu Reeves, I quite liked it, I am a fan of Sci Fi, and I guess this film has some Sci Fi in it, in the form of weird ass aliens who look like Keanu Reeves. So this massive space ship? comes out of nowhere, us noobs here on Earth think its a comet of some sort, until it starts to slow down, land in the middle of Manhattan, and spitting out Keanu Reeves.

ON a side note, ever since 9/11 there has been piles and piles of movies involving some sort of disaster situated in either New York itself, or other major city’s in America.

Cloverfield – The one about the giant monster you partially catch a glimpse of, terrorising New York

Picture unrelated

The Day After Tomorrow - The one about the day that was not actually after tomorrow but more like after the tomorrow after tomorrow which is after yesterday right before next week. Again, set in New York.

(Ok ok, there are others, perhaps I should do more research when I create Blog posts, I am just writing this of the top of my head.)

So lets have a look at the DVD covers for these films:

Coincidence?

Is it something to do with 9/11? Or am I just being one of those weird conspiracy guys that live in their Mothers basement adding videos to YouTube in candle light. Perhaps it is the whole scare tactics thing going on with the media, perhaps the media are producing all these films to keep the nation, or the American nation, in a state of fear.

The next big disaster movie coming out has got to be 2012, which looks like a laugh.

Junk mail, an ancient ancestor of Spam emails..

Just an example of the kind of crap that gets shoveled into my letterbox.

I got this flyer this morning that made me laugh, basically its a Jehovah Witness convention that claims they can answer this question. But I know what the answer is already, believe in God and all that crap and you will go to heaven and what not, but that isn’t surviving the end of the world is it, you will still die. That’s if the Jehovah Witnesses even make it to the end of the world with all their bullshit beliefs like no blood transfusions.

Anyway, if the world was going to end, I would prefer to put up with an eternity of pain with fire in Hell, than an eternity of pain ‘living?’ with Jehovah Witnesses and Ned Flanders in Heaven. Going with these beliefs, anyone who lies will go to Hell, anyone who drinks will go to Hell etc etc. Which means no interesting people will be in Heaven. It will be full of people dressed in smart clothes, ‘knock knock knocking on heavens door’ asking to convert you. Who would you rather have a conversation with, Charles Manson, or a Jehovah Witness?

By now you probably think I am an atheist, but I consider myself agnostic, because if atheist means for sure you believe there is no God at all, then aren’t you just as bad as religious people? How can we possibly know for sure there is no God.

On a side note, this is how mad religion actually can be, if taken so damn seriously:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHlDtSk9k7s]

“Repent dummies”

Fred Phelps, the pastor of the God Hates Fags church is a strange fellow, who I believe is actually homosexual but in denial, if you think about it, it makes so much sense that he is Gay, and so insecure about it he decided to create a church that ‘hates fags’ just so everyone will immediately presume that he is not gay. It is cruel what they are doing to those children, filling their heads with this crap. How can you possible think that what they are doing is right, I just don’t understand it.

Oh, and is it just me, or do those kids sound like South Park characters?

I have been let loose with a drill and some screws!

This time I decided to make a stop motion camera rig, out of old shelves. After seeing animations such as Muto on YouTube, I wanted to have a go myself. Well here it is:

The screw that the camera attatches to

Dusty

Now all I need is a whiteboard. Using paper would be ok too but I would need to use alot of paper, 12 pieces per second of footage actually (12fps).

The time has come to mod the 4gb Flash Disk I got given from my college. Its just black, and rectangular and boring. So I decided to combine my favorite past time toy with it….LEGO!

Before:

YAWN

So after using magical pliers that I still have from when I used to ‘play’ Warhammer, and some nail glue (couldn’t find super glue), I had a finished USB Drive!

Does everything a normal USB can…it goes in.

Pretty awesome hey.

PS

I hate super glue (or nail glue…same thing) I ALWAYS get it on my fingers, and it feels like it isn’t my skin.

So I don’t play my xbox 360 anymore. So I decide to sell it on eBay. But I am missing one thing, a box and sellotape.

I managed to find a box, well I had to CONVERT an old crate of beer, turn it inside out and patch it up. The only tape I could find was electrical tape, but that will have to do.

Here is my attempt.

Skillz

Okey so it wasn’t just one role of electrical tape.

As is always the case with great works. Just as you have got over the emergence of a new “genius” , everything goes completely wrong and the genius turns overnight into the village idiot.

I was mesmerised when Sin City came out. What a film! What a fantastic new way of looking at cinema. At last something new amidst the Hollywood gloss and shame. But then what happens he goes and shoots himself in the head with the release of 300 and then tops it all off with the chronically bad “The Spirit”. What makes it all the worse is that we have 3 degrees of falling into the mire, there is Sin City ( Great film) then there is 300 ( a so nearly great film ) then The Spirit ( total mound of crud ).

It really is frustrating to see a genre ruined within the space of 3 films. I feel especially duped by 300 of which I came out of the Imax glowing with appreciation only for it to slowly evaporate over the next few days like a bad hangover. In some ways it was relief to wade through The Spirit as it confirmed how bad 300 was. Okay Okay I know what you are saying “ but 300 was a great film “ to which I would reply “ ….but I am NOT GAY !“.

‘I am not gay..I just enjoy drawing graphic pictures of partially dressed Spartans.’

The next logical step has to be to boycott Miller. Set up a Facebook account asking for Anti-Miller friends. Run riot in the next Imax showing of Millers next film….” Last of the bulging bicep Mohican’s”

On second thoughts a cold flannel and a light beer will do the trick.